Getting back to the Essentials

We had a rough go of it for quite a while, over a year with the issues we were having with my second and third born destroying things and acting very badly. However, we have now had 2 ½ weeks of no serious issues with the kids! I believe we have had break through! It’s interesting though, the breakthrough really came in my heart before it materialized in my kid’s behavior.

About three weeks ago I was getting up to get ready for work, I was really feeling discouraged and like God had deserted us. As I rolled out of bed that morning I just had this burning desire to worship. The sense I had was that my life depended on it. So I grabbed my guitar and some music out of my desk and just began worshiping the Lord. As I worshiped I could feel the presence of God come into our bedroom and fill my heart. It had been months since I sensed God in this way. For the first time since it all began I wept as waves of God’s love swept over me. He met me in a deeply personal way. When I was done, I knew we still had problems, but that somehow God was with me and I would be able to stand whatever came.

As I prayed and thought about our situation, I came to realize that what was going on with my kids was a cry for attention. I good friend and I had met about our situation, he mostly just heard me out as I poured out our tale of woe. Later he wrote me an email to tell me of a problem he had with his daughter when she became suicidal, and how he had started just teaching her how to play guitar and all the suicidal stuff just went away. It turns out she just needed more time from daddy.

As I reflected on this and our situation It became clear to me that my kids were crying out for attention. It was at that moment I felt the gentle but heartbreaking conviction of the Lord. Years ago when we were pregnant with our first born I felt that the Lord was impressing upon me that my primary mission field while my children are still in my home, are my children. In the beginning I feel like I did a fairly good job of fulfilling that mandate. However somehow over the years, very gradually, and almost imperceptibly, I lost my focus, my way. The cares and busyness of life began creeping out the important things. I realized that I was short changing my kids.

I did two things immediately, the first is I started making a very conscious effort to spend more time with the kids as a group, and with each one of them one on one. Secondly I stepped down from the Non profit group I have worked with for the last several years. My family has to come first after God. Maybe someday I will go back, but for now my focus is on making sure my 5 precious ones know Jesus.

Now, we are still disciplining when things go wrong, I am not letting them get away with anything, but I am also trying to do a better job of showing them that I love them and value them. IN my book they are second only to my wife, second only to God. If I screw up everything else in life, I want to do this one thing right, that my children would KNOW God!

World View

As a Christian, do you shape your world view by your faith and knowledge of God and His word, or do you shape your Christianity by your world view?

The Battle of Helms Deep

The Battle of Helms Deep seems like a good allegory for what is going on in our country and in my home. At home we are struggling to correct some chronic bad child behaviours and it's been tough going. In the United States we are facing 9% unemployment, sky rocketing food and fuel prices and failing foreign policy by our government.

Yet, as dark as it all seems lately, I pray that the analogy of the allegory of Helms Deep continues, because in the end the good guys prevail, good triumphs over evil.

God sustain us and help us to not only survive, but thrive.

I hate Religion

No I don’t mean I hate God, I don’t mean I am not a Christian, I mean that I hate religion in the sense of Webster’s third definition of the word : “scrupulous conformity”. Jesus said, “Beware of the yeast of the Pharisees and Sadducees. What did he mean when he said this? Simply put he was warning us to beware of their teaching. Who where they and what was their teaching? They were the leaders of the Jewish religion at the time, simply put they were the “church leaders”. And why did Jesus Christ contend with them? Because they were hypocrites and put heave religious burdens on the people, large lists of rules, dos and don’ts which had nothing to do with God’s law or the condition of their heart.
Modern day Christendom has its own version of this in many Christian leaders. I did not say all, but many. We here sermon’s preached on not smoking, not drinking alcohol, do not gamble, read your bible every day, pray an hour a day, and the list goes on. It’s not that some of these things are not good ideas, but the idea that they should be religiously applied to every Christian allows no room for the Holy Spirit to work in specific, individual Circumstances. Galatians 5:1 says “It was for freedom that Christ has set us free. Do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.” (emphasis added)
The context of this passage is that Paul is warning the Galation church not to give in to those that wanted to subjugate Christians to the old Jewish laws and customs, and specifically to circumcision. It seems even after 2000 years, we are still arguing with ourselves over laws and regulations, does and don’ts. We still have leaders who want to burden us down with long lists of thing we must do in order to be a “good Christian” or be a “good whiteness.” In fact this last statement has been used to justify all sorts of heavy yokes upon people, and as a judgment against those who don’t CONFORM.
It is obvious that we should not sin. Specifically we should not violate the ten commandments. We should Love God and Love our neighbor. Obviously we should be above reproach and follow God’s will as led by the Holy Spirit. But Christians often make a rule or law out of something which is not a law, such as “You must have devotions every day.” Is it to please God we have devotions, or to please those who say we should? Too often has the enemy of our soul used the fear of man to brow beat us into scrupulous conformity. He seeks to make our faith nothing more than a wearisome list of rules we must follow instead of a life giving relationship with the Living God.

Relationship with God or a list of rules to follow.

Which do you think brings life?

Life is WAR!

One of the things that I am trying to accept is that life is war. What I mean is that we were all born in to a world war which has been raging since before the garden of Eden. The sooner we all come to grips with that and accept that we must pick our swords every day, that is when we can truly find peace. I know that sounds ironic and it may not make since unless the Lord reveals it to you. In some ways I take comfort in the fact that the enemy opposes us, it means we are still a threat to him. It means we are still alive and have not given up. Jesus said in this world we would have all kinds of struggles. I don’t think he just meant persecution at the hands of non believers. I am not looking for a demon behind every malfunction, but many times there are,
“influences”. Victory does not look like the cessation of battle, it looks like living to fight another day. It looks like overcoming and thwarting the enemy’s plans. Yes, in this world we will have struggles, but HE said, fear not for I have overcome the world.

It’s exhausting at times. Sometimes I want to give up. But it’s times like those that His strength is perfected in my weakness. God has a dramatic flair I think, and likes to come in and save the day just in the nick of time. As they say, it is always darkest before the dawn. Life is like the battle of Helm’s Deep in the “Lord of the Rings” trilogy. That battle is intense and seems endless. Just as it seems darkness will win and all hope is lost, the sun rises, night is ended and good comes in to save the day.

He cares for his beloved and is always there fighting besides us, even when we can’t see Him. Sometimes we don’t see Him, because He is fighting at our back.

Please forgive me, God's not finished with me yet

So there was this situation where someone was harassing us and I was sure I knew who it was. I was absolutely positive. Just one problem. I was absolutely wrong!

This harassment had started several months ago and continued until this week. I had pretty much figured out who had done this, or so I had thought. Things turned an unusual corner when the real culprit, heavy under the conviction of the Lord, confessed to me what they had done, and asked for my forgiveness.

Though I muck things up frequently, He was with me in power today. I forgave this individual and explained to them how I can forgive because Jesus first forgave me. I can’t withhold from someone else what God freely gave me, His love and forgiveness. So I guess, if it brings this person closer to Jesus, it was worth it! Surely one soul is worth a little suffering.

Beyond the lesson of enduring a little suffering for Christ’s sake, I also learned a valuable lesson through this situation. No matter how guilty we think someone may be when we think we have it all figured out… we can be completely 100% wrong! Not only that, but were we not all guilty before Christ paid for our sins?

There are situations where we must assess situations and motives, where we must make decisions based on wisdom. But when it comes to Judgment, that should be left to the Lord, for He is the only righteous judge.

I called the person I had accused of this harassment, hard as it was, to tell them that I found out who was really responsible and that I was sorry I accused them and that I hopped they would forgive me for any pain and distress I caused. It was an honest mistake, but still a mistake

I thank God that he put a check in my spirit and restrained me from doing what my flesh wanted, something that would be destructive to the future healing of the relationship. Once again, God saves the day and takes what the enemy meant for evil, and turned into a learning experience for all.

Aragorn or Anakin?

As I struggled through the spring and the first half of the summer, the question burning in my mind was “Am I Aragorn or Anakin?” Aragorn is the ranger in the Lord of the Rings which eventually goes on to be the King of Gondor. Anakin is a Jedi night who turns to the dark side and forsakes his greater destiny. So this summer as I struggled with many things and at times I felt like giving up, I asked myself which I was.

Both these characters came to a critical juncture, a crossroads where they had to make a choice. That choice changed their lives foreseer, everything hinged on it for good or evil, for magnificents or mediocrity. In many ways this summer was one of those crossroads for me.

I could feel God’s calling on my life, but it just seem so hard to follow Him at times, that I just wanted to give up, throw in the towel. It was never any one major thing, but it was a whole host of mosquito size problems that wore me down. Things breaking, work, issues with kids, fatigue, spiritual attacks, etc, etc. Many times I felt completely alone. I felt like there was no one who understood.

Still through it all God was with me, patient, loving and guiding. Even in those times I felt alone, I look back and see that He was with me. Now I know who I am and I see the work God is doing in me and the work that He will do through me. I will choose to be Aragorn, which is to say that I will obediently seize the destiny God lays before me and what ever end that leads to. To give up is to completely fail. That will not be my path. I choose to risk failure, rather than to fail surely by not trying at all. God came through for me and made me able to choose the better path.

As God led me out of the wilderness this summer, I realized that much of what I had been experiencing was an assignment of the enemy against me to prevent me from taking up the task the Lord set’s before me now. He knew, and it scared him to death and then as now, the enemy tries to prevent me from reaching my goal. But he will not succeed, for I already know how the story ends. The bible tells us the Satan will be defeated in the end. The God of peace will soon crush Satan underneath your feet!

There for I will draw my breath, my bread, indeed all that I am and have from Jesus Christ, and that makes all the difference.

I post this for all to see, for I know I am not really alone in experiencing these kinds of things. I hope that this will encourage you to press into the Lord further, seek him wholeheartedly and seize His destiny for you. The enemy oppresses you because he hates you and fears you. Realize however, he has no real power over you so long as you keep your eyes on Jesus. We all have a part to play in God’s plan, don’t let the enemy take you out! God wants you for his army!